Who The Hell Thought it Was A Good Idea To Put Toilets In A House Anyways..

So How grand of an idea is it to have a room in your house that you and your company urinate and deficate in versus it’s own free standing structure unattached to the house?  Does anyone like creaning a room that you do your business in as well as you clean  a room that you watch tv in or sleep in?  There is a big difference between cleaning a table you put your coffee on and the container in which your coffee is expelled into later.  People keep their dogs out side because if you let a dog be a dog it is something you wouldn’t want in your house right?  If I let my coffee table be a coffee table it will smell like Highlander Grogg  and have stains on it.  That is acceptable to have in a house.  Nothing in your house can get as disgusting as a toilet.  Challange me on that point.  Carpet is easily replaced.  Bedding easily washed.  Sink pipes can be pretty terrible but nothing that some pipe cleaner dumped down before dismantling can’t fix.  Can you do that with the can?   Can you throw it in the washer?    I’m fine with with a shower, a tub, or a sink that you brush your teeth in being in a house but not a toilet.  I think it was right when it was out side and away from your house.  It was fine when it was a box of wood  covering a box of wood with a comfortable seat attached to it.  That makes it easy to clean.  You don’t have to worry about it matching the decore of your house.  You don’t have to make sure it doesn’t smell in your living room when your watching Oprah.  You never have to make sure it’s spotless when your friends come over.  Just think of an outhouse with plumbing that you can hose down if you so needed to.  Run a centrial air vent to it if your climate calls to it.  Hell, walking through the cold to pee will help  you if you have problems doing so.   Would it really be that hard to walk to an outhouse?  I would be way worth it in my opinion.  Just think of how much better your shower experience would be!  Your shower would be so amazing that when you are done you could just fall asleep on the floor next to it.  Fat americans could put a fold out bed and a mircowave oven when the toilet never should have been.  Hell, put a KFC and Starbucks in there.  Rent it out as a studio apartment.  Why take up space in your american dream to put a place to shit?  Shit belongs out side with the rest of the shit we don’t want inside!  Every time you shit inside, you shit on the american dream of owning your house!  It may only be 30 square feet of your american dream but is it ok to shit on that much?   Would you shit on that much of anything that you pay money for or love?  This is simple logic.  We keep shit outside that we dont want inside.  Shit that is not literally shit like bugs and rain we try our hardest to keep out side.  This is literal shit which we welcome into our homes.  I don’t think literal shit belongs an a place that I “live”.  Maybe I’m crazy.

~ by Jamie on April 20, 2009.